2. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.
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3. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
4. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn"t met me yet.
5. My wife says she"s leaving me because of my addiction to antidepressants. So I thought about it and realized; that’s great, then I won’t need them anymore.
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6. I saw a book titled "Anxiety and Depression for Dummies" yesterday in the store... Not sure if it is appropriate to label someone looking for mental help a "dummy".
7. A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide”The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”