I don’t know who created the concept of happy ever after, but I don’t think think they can have had a very long life. So many films end the moment a couple get together, the villain is defeated, peace is found.

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The truth though, is represented quite nicely throughout the musical “Hamilton”. George Washington in his infinite wisdom reminds Hamilton that “dying is easy, living is harder”. Added to that we are reminded too, “fighting is easy, governing is harder”.

This is not to undermine the efforts that both dying and fighting involve — having served in the Army, I can vouch that both can be hard. But the reality is, when you’re serving on operations, you are removed from anything else but that operational bubble. You may get phone calls or video calls if you’re lucky, but the day to day everyday act of living in the “normal” world, you are removed from, and part of that is why soldiers returning from operations struggle to readjust.

You don’t have to have served in the military to struggle with life though. As we get older , it seems to get more and more relentless, bills, obligations, social niceties, work, family, education….. the endless list of we think we should do, want to do, ought to do, are told to do…..but all this is adding to our misery or fatigue, or general dissatisfaction with life. We get caught into the consumer cycle of buying the next thing, or having to fix something, or just generally trying to cope with a small income and mouth to feed. If you’re lucky you buy a house then have to keep working to pay the mortgage, pay the utilities, or just paying rent, tv fees, doctors, children’s activities…all whilst trying to be the best parent/friend/family member possible



So I’m calling “stop” on all this (or as much as I can..I still have bills to pay!)

I don’t play “keeping up with the neighbours”. This is a pointless exercise which can only bring you dissatisfaction and potentially more bills! Instead I try to recognise people’s achievements, and congratulate them for their happiness

I don’t resent people who have more than me. If I don’t appreciate the things I have, I will loose sight of how lucky I am in the bigger picture. Living in a western world, with free healthcare, a currently dysfunctional, but not particular despotic government, I could be in a far worse position. As a women I could be in an even worst position.

I try to spend lots of time outdoors. Even just an extra 5 minute walk a day helps. it helps firstly by slowing me down and causing me to breakaway form technology. It reminds me what a wonderful place I live in, and it’s good for my health!

I try to slow down. In my own business there are so many things I should/could/would do for it — but then I spend my time on clients — often implementing the very things I should do for myself! So I’m just telling myself, it’s ok to take some time. It’s ok to not have everything I’m being told I should have…I still have a business after all!

I try to see my friends and family as often as i can. but I no longer make time for people who are “drains” — who suck the life out of you and try to drag you down to their level of personal misery. This is different from someone going through a bad time. These kind of people are always having a bad time..but it’s never their fault, it’s always the world out to get them. These people will only make you sad or feel bad about yourself. They are not friends. Stay away!

I try to do some good too. Volunteer days, donating to charity. I read once about how giving to charity/donating your time is not a selfless act because you feel good, and you shouldn’t feel good about charity!? Again, the person who suggested that, is possibly exceedingly miserable. Yes, doing charity work often does make you feel good. But actually, it can open your eyes to the reality of the world we live in — the injustice, inequality, selfishness of humans in general. And then you go home, and realise that actually you think your life is hard…it’s harder still for others.

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So my advice for life — because it IS a struggle for many. Don’t listen to people giving you advice on how to live your life, and just try to figure out what makes you less stressed and do it!

I’m a multi passionate! Operations Director, Business Coach, Trainer, Speaker, and Project Manager! Always learning..….. adulting is hard....