Page 1 ~tt~fu fq~ ~ns~s,~~n~ 4ll1t~ fq~ « fascinatingbondage ideas which haven't been shown in books before, the outrageously funny profiles of types of undesirablesone sometimes meets in the scene and online, the hilarious cartoons showing the importance of communication.The Community Standard, Arlington, TexasThe only REAL criticism I have of this book is that it is too big to fit on the back of my toilet. Seriously, it'sone hell of a book. I've read most of the introductory books for perverts...this one is absolutely and totally the best.Yeah, it covers all the regular topics, how to tie up and whack your partner safely, sanely and consensually,and has lots of pics and diagrams and such. There's even bits about building your own equipment with plans andall, from simple cuffs and collars to slings. It's totally jam-packed with information... But that's not why I liked thebook. I liked the book for its treatment of the psychology of dominance and submission. ALL THROUGH THE BOOKthere is an awareness of the things I have heard, felt, seen, touched and tasted since I've been in the scene, thingsI've never seen described anywhere else.The authors are smart-ass and silly throughout, making the bookextremely FUN to read.Jackie Patti, quoted from the Internet newgroup alt.sex.bondageBrother experience, input from othersin the scene, and a lot of interviews and research combine to make this THE book to own! You WILL read it,because it's good, and you WILL learn from it, cause it's all there!'Lite Brite", Rockport, MassachusettsYour words about 'natural submissives' were wonderful to read after so many years of wondering if anyone wouldever understand me. I wish I had been exposed to such acceptance much earlier in my life. Hopefully your book willreach many people who need to hear those words.A member of The English Palace BBS~trtfu fqt ~nsts,~tn~Jlt fqt mqnrns-1Jee ~ anti g~ g~0/ gCUUN~~'.I1f,IN,Ptulip Mille4 anti M~ :JJeAJ(Uf,, Joan, Hans, Josie, Li Chen, Jocelyn, Rebecca. Sara. Ari,Jake. Ali. Jen, Cathy. Robin, Donna, Don, Bob H.. both Franks and thepatrons of Chez Francesco, Marvin, Pete. two Georges and two Lindas, Doc,Fred. Strider. Kenny, Dr. Wm. A. Granzig. Wendy K., Keri, Rerno, Heather,Jerry. Marcia. Jackie. Brenda. Amy. Melissa. Ronil, Laura Antoniou, AdamSelene. Gillian, Roberta, Mistress Sabrina, Kevin Johnson. Bruce, Kayla,Toughlove, Lite Brite, April Greeley. Lynn "Chanti" K., Steve and EileenLauer. Princess Sheeba, Veronica & Don P., Andy Anderson. Megan, DoogieJohn, Songbird Birgit wherever you are, Erica. Tori, Steed. Quirt. Nix,Sharon (C-Pet), Janet, Brook and the Vault denizens, Robert, Morgle, Ruth,Queen Guillotine, Terry L.. Michael, Russ, Master Rick, Gregory, DominaSappho, Shoewolf,Danny. all those plying wanton keyboards on TheEnglish Palace. Majornet, alt.sex.bondage, and other cyber-stops.iiThe Color of a RoseDifferent things move us: jeans, uniforms, hoods, tuxedos, leather,lingerie, whips, shoes, silk, latex, corsets, rope, petticoats, cat suits, beards,longhair, crew cuts, tattoos, flannel sheets, feather beds, even knives.Different people move us. too: straights, lesbians, gays, gender benders,bearish men, petite women, heavy and skinny people, the strong-willed andthe meek. country, military, and business types, jocks, bikers. hippies,yuppies, techies, and preps. No one suits everyone, but there is alwayssome willing body for every wanting body.All of the people types and turnons mentioned above representpeople we know who practice SM (sadomasochism). Our orientation isheterosexual, dominant male and submissive female and our bookrepresents this perspective. So, if you are gay, lesbian, a dominant woman,or a submissive man. we understand that the context may seem too narrowat first glance. Also, our style of SM is only one of many, even for those who"share our basic orientation. Yet, though a tremendous disparity ofattractions. orientations, and kinks exists, we are all human and, therefore,the emotional underpinnings of SM apply to us all.We have learned a great deal about ourselves by reading literatureintended for those with sexual orientations that differ from ours. The lateJohnPrestonwrotestoriesaboutgaySMrelationships. buttheemotionality and excellent writing within his work offers a satisfying readfor everyone. The same can be said of Pat Califia, Laura Antoniou, GuyBaldwin. and many others.Rather than becoming mired in androgenous pronouns or writingto satisfy everyone's kink, we have written about what moves us, realizingthat the emotional core of feelings that draw people to SM is ignorant ofgender lines. Regardless of sexual orientation, we all cherish the lovers wechoose. our flesh still quivers beneath their touch, and we implore them topenetrate the most forbidden forests of our imaginations.Foreword"What can we know or what can we disdainWhen error chokes the windows of the mind?"Sir John Davies (1569-1626)Philip Miller and Molly Devon have written about scenes, players, playing, toys andplayrooms in order to correct the error choking the windows of our minds in our views ofbondage and discipline. This comprehensive manual provides an "in the know," how to,understanding of the latest trendy behavior. From Madonna to Versace to 9 112 Weeks,sadomasochism appears to be the hip, au courant behavior for the fin de siecIe crowdwishing to spice up their sex lives. Oh yes, 81M is sex!But before embarking on a sexual voyage you must have a map, the proper toolsand the knowledge to uses them.This is what Philip and Molly provide to both theneophyte and the experienced player.Taking the credo of the National Leather Association as their own, that 8/M playbe safe, sane, and consensual, the authors provide the guide to developingyour own sceneincorporating their features.The fourth chapter provides the philosophical framework for the role of thedominant and the submissive and how negotiation is _always_ the beginning of anyrelationship and establishes the limits that are never to be exceeded. Yes, as in all things,there are limits to what the dominant will do and what the submissive will experience.They provide enough examples for the newest beginner to understand the differences andto abide by them.81M is a sexual scene acted out in a significant percentage of the population.According APEX, surveys have listed S/M behavior by as much as 7 to 14% of thepopulation, and is interesting to but not practiced by many more, To see the prevalence,just look at the public's interest in movies, books, and other artistic expressions with 81Mas the dominant theme.And although enjoying a new popularity today, 81M activities have long beenperformed by many religions and cultures. Early Christian mystics used it (flails and hairshirts). Native Americans continue to uses it for vision quests. Fakirs from India use thatsame energy that Philip and Molly write about for spiritual journeys, sexual ecstasy, orpersonal bliss.While the acting out of bondage and discipline fantasies may look brutal to theuninformed observer, 8/M is not as it appears. The uninitiated may believe the dominantdoes as he/she wishes, without feeling the needs or pain of the submissive, but this is nottrue. In practice, it is the submissive or masochist that actually has the final say. Philipand Molly write of the process of communicating up front, the uses of"safe" words that willstop the action if the submissive ever feels the scene is not working, and even "rehashing"after the event so that both parties can learn and benefit for the future.iiiMore often the thrill of perceived danger is greater than the actual danger of theprocess itself. It need not be especially dangerous. Some activities are more physicallycreative than others. For more strenuous activities the individuals should be in goodphysical shape, just as for any other sport. In all cases, the players must know what theyare doing. This is the purpose of this book.While the thrust of Screw the Roses. Send Me the Thoms is heterosexual. dominantmale and submissive female (or vise versa). I feel that it can be equally valuable as a guideto gays. transgendered, lesbians. bisexuals and any other sexual persuasion.The authors' explanations of the various forms of play. e.g.. bondage. fustigation.mummification.electricity.dominance.submission.humiliation.brachtorectal,brachtovaglnal, are clear and enable the neophyte to learn about play from both sides ofthe equation-- as a dominant and as a submissive. This is an unusually complete volumethat will dispel the error in your mind about leatherfolk and their activities.On a personal note. I met Philip and Molly when we were guests on CNBC's RealPersonal. with Bob Berkowitz. In my role as the clinical sexologist "expert" on SjM. I foundthat this brief encounter gave me a better understanding of this lifestyle and hascontributed to my being a better sex therapist in providing comprehensive mental healthcounseling in my private practice.Dr. William A.
GranzigPresident. The American Academy of Clinical SexologistsivIntroduction! ou are r:orMttlIuinuibb to he our guests as fue r:elehrde tqejouous unionof some ueru unlikdu, hut qigqlU sebudiue Inuers,~itqintqese pttges uou fuill fuitness tqe fuebbings of;lust ttnb innrrcanre,tettrs nnb lttugqter,fettr anh lmre,infimlhaflcn ttnb raring,honbttge anh Iiharafinn,ttnb tqttt mosf curinus r:ouple, pain ttnb pleasure,Wire multiple manacle ceremonies fuill rnmmenre on tire stroke of mjbniglrtttnb Utill he presi~e~ nuer hUtire tUtin clerics, 'tJlrus ttnb J1mttgindiun.